hotel room ftw
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
