I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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