3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
