I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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