I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize