Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
