Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
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There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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