everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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