She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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