Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize