I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
