you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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