Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
