i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
