hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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