you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
