So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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