Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
