He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
