We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We had to coat check the pizza.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
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Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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