just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
