I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
