and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
