Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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