Define "chronic" masturbator.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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