Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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