You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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