I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
third nipple confirmed
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
