this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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