when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
