I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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