I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
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We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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