no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
