Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize