i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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