Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
