You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Randomize
