Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
