Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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