think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
