Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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