Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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