so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
