is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize