Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
