We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
