i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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