i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
