She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
