need another drink. this is the easiest way
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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