I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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