Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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