I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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