I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just pee around me
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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