The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
