I think im going to throw up on grandma
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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