we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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