She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
