He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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