I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
