WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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