That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
