Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I need moral support for this bender
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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