I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
