Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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